Babel / バベルの塔

Stomach pain,a serious pain.

I am staring at the man on the platform,he is teaching the definite integral.I listened for a while,sleepy.But the ache coming into my mind again and again,I'm not myself.

Look out of the window,the bright sunlight is dropping down from the white clouds,crashed on the surface of classroom.The seat near the window gets transparent,under the winter afternoon sky,seems especially pale.

I'm covering my stomach,and beginning to miss O.

That also should be a winter,bright sunshine,blue sky,and haven't snow all along.There also a man was teaching something with swashing saliva.I felt sleepy,lay on my table softly.

O said to me,you are a pain in the neck,who as meek as a lamp to everyone forever,but never listen to others,always say yes to everyone,but think about an opposite idea in the brain,have a strong possessive instinct,but control yourself not be into anything.You self-righteous,deceptive,totally asshole.

I haven't eaten lunch at noon,I bought a pile of cakes and cookie.Ate all,all were serious sweet.And now,it become a serious stomachache.

O loved sweet.

O liked to eat lollipop in class.There were books,notes on the table,and her cellphone always been threw on the top left conner.She tore apart those plastic things that go around lollipop,and filled the candy into her mouth,let her right face bulged,then lay on her table.

I didn't tell O that looks make me crazy,and I steady thought that looks would belong to me,forever.

O said to me that her boyfriend should be a simple boy,no smoking,no drinking,play basketball,and do a officer in the future after a study in one military school.I said,you must be describing me!She stared at me and tapped her ash,said,fuck off.

I thought O belonged to me is because I think nobody could get O except me.O was eighteen,she was in the prime in the life.She has two charming eyes and a lovely nose,those were not important,the important thing was I found she had such an unique lonely smell.And me,too.

I watch the teacher is drinking water on the platform,his Adam's apple up and down,just like my stomach.There are many people around me,but I feel it seems like a deep night,people turn to black and fuzzy slowly,and disappear.Suddenly I find O has gone,and never back.A bitter and tart feeling on my tongue,like cigarette's taste.

O said to me,one day,you will miss me very much,and I don't know,nobody knows,and then,you like a ghost in the group,unhappy,lonely and bored.

I feel pain now.And I hope the class over quickly,and run away the next class to buy cigarette.I don't have a watch,and the cellphone doesn't work.So I don't know how long I will wait.I know the pain will over,but the mood of wait let me mad.